Heaven

At Guanajuato bus station I was sold a ticket for the coach to Morelia. I appeared to have been charged that little bit extra than usual. But then I discovered why. This was a bit more than the deluxe coach ride I had been used to, for stamped on my ticket was the description, super deluxe coach.

It did not look too different from the outside, but as the vehicle pulled out, I was able to identify the precise reason and it was worth every extra Peso. There was an earthly hush on the ride, something that had been missing from all my other journys. With relief I realised that the coach lacked any TV screens. This was after all the videoless bus.  And for my money, that definitely put it in the super-deluxe class.

Dark Streets and Drums

Morelia, in comparison to the other locations I had visited was very provincial. Walking around the back streets of the city in the hope of finding a restaurant after dark was a bit of a difficult task. Firstly there did not appear to be many lamp posts to guide me and secondly, the local restriction on neon signs meant that, in the darkness, you could stand at one end of a short street, look down its length and think, nope nothing down here, but then as you strolled along it, low and behold, you’d suddenly chance upon an open fronted neighbourhood café. I suppose if you want towns to retain their original charming facades, without trashing them, then you have to be prepared for that extra bit of difficulty in locating establishments after dark; a recreational hazard of sorts.

I was on the way back from a café to my hotel and cut across one of the  plazas either side of the city’s cathedral. Round the back was a youthful assembly of drummers in crimson uniforms, who belted away at their instruments. They’d march forward, one pace, two paces, and three paces four. A U-turn would follow. And then they’d do the same manoeuvre in reverse. I sat on a wall admiring their dedication. It all seemed a perfectly choreographed late evening exercise. After ten minutes, they were given the order to stand down. But what on earth were they practising for at this time of night? I forgot about this little incident until the following morning.

Nigel and Chums

I arrived back at the hotel and paused by the establishment which was immediately next door, wondering how I had previously missed its wine bar sign. I climbed its steps. Inside, leaning on the bar counter were four men and a woman. Nigel was fluent in English and spoke in rather an effeminate manner. I noted couples of men sat dotted around the room – I began to wonder.  Nigel introduced me to the lone female. ‘Please meet Miss Grace,’ he said. And they clinked glasses together. ‘Miss Grace, bottoms up,’ he said. Everyone laughed.

Nigel started to translate for some of the other men. A series of questions followed, all of which were intended to ascertain my persuasions and desires. So, was I staying next door? (Well, yes.) What was my room number? (Can’t tell you that.) We are all going to have a little party after at Nigel’s. Nothing too special. Would I like to come? Miss Grace will be there as well. (No. Can’t do that either.) A mobile phone number maybe. (Sorry. Don’t have one.)

Do you like men? No? Well why have you come to the wine bar? (Sorry. I’m only here for the beer). ……..But then they gave up, changed the subject, and started telling me how Princess Diana had been murdered by the British Establishment, in order to prevent the injection of Egyptian blood into the royal family tree.

I thought back to 1994 and my four day stay in Fez, Morocco; of being propositioned by men on four consecutive nights; and most of all, when I told this to buxom Donna, the landlord’s wife down my local village pub, of her loud retort. ‘You may well have been propositioned four nights running Damian, but what you are leaving out of your tale is that you still went back to the same place each night. It was four consecutive propositions in the same bar!

And so nearly a decade later with her quip still ringing in my ear, I made sure I didn’t make a second visit to the tavern next door.